Friday, May 13, 2011

Day #195 - Repetition

I wonder how many times it will be necessary for me to learn the same thing over and over again? I believe the answer is "as many times as it takes". I don't know if I am exactly grateful for it, but I can see why it is necessary.

It is also irritating that I continue to take the bate. Sometimes I can even feel it happening and it is like sitting beside myself watching it unfold. Something begins to irritate me or I feel the fight coming on and I know what NOT to do, but then I just do it anyway. It is like watching a car crash and then calling for incident management to clean up the broken glass.

Travis and I celebrated the beginning of the weekend by playing the blame game this evening. It wasn't even a very big deal, but I felt both of us trying to one up each other. It is such a waste of time and energy to "feel" right. The truth is, being right can be pretty lonely.

The argument was not big enough to hang onto, but I am trying to hang onto the lesson. Maybe this is the time that it takes.

I Am Grateful,
HB

Diva Quote: "Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others"

2 comments:

  1. Hmmmm, the "Blame Game" huh, pretty costly game to play isn't it? How did the weekend pan out? Did you move on to better ground quickly? I do it to, lots better than I used to be, but I unfortunately still have it in me.

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  2. The weekend was good. After 17 years of marriage it is pretty easy to move on quickly (or harder, I guess, depending), but I was bothered enough by my part that I apologized the next day...so did Travis. It turns out we were both right and we were both wrong. HB

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