My husband has a gift...he leaves work when he leaves work. I tend to bring it along with me wherever I go...how do you let it go? Now, since I will be literally walking away in a few weeks, I can't imagine how I will get everything caught up before I leave. What about Woodruff, Bowcut, Mason & Treadaway? Perry, Nelson & Campbell? Did Daybell get handled? What about my two Fillmore's? The one named Fillmore and the one IN Fillmore? Did the Hull's roof inspection get done, will Meiner and Rytting's deals go well? Did I send the paperwork on Cartier and Pilling, will Billman forgive me for not getting the numbers out to him today? I haven't talked to Gardner's for a while and Bauer...what is going on with him? Who does appraisals in Lyman? Did I cancel the referral and reassign for Walter's? Yes, one thing I did get done, but I did not call the new guy...on and on as you can tell.
As I walked in the door at 7:10 tonight with a less than happy husband wondering why I am working late when I am quitting in a few weeks, I can't help but wonder how I am going to let go of these people? How am I going to make sure they are well enough on their way to just...go?
I don't really think I can...at least not easily. I will have to do what a friend from a class once told me, "Let go and let God"...tonight I am feeling that tight pressure on my chest when I think about "my" people and the mess I'm making for them. I am SURE it is going to be just fine, but I DO care so much about them and they have given me so much over the years.
Today I talked to one of the transferees who shared some of the blessings his move is making in his family's life...They have 10 kids - several were adopted via the foster system and they refinanced their home to provide for and adopt all these children having faith it would work out in the end. When we first got the work order I had my doubts he would do much better than he currently owes on the home based on the current real estate market and trends...His home sold the first day it was on the market with multiple offers for more than he thought he would get for it and they found a much bigger home in their new area for $150K less than their current home...He gushed about how he always tries to live in faith, but he still can't believe how it has all come together. I love these stories and will miss them so much.
I am anxious to get my replacement in place so I can begin the training process...I think that will go a long way to feeling better about my own leap of faith.
I Am Grateful,
HB
Diva Quote: "Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it's everything in between that makes it all worth living." Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats
Yes, you will miss them a bunch. They will miss you a buncher. It reminds me of the way I used to feel each year when I would leave my calling as Primary president over the Christmast Holiday. 3 weeks I would dump everything on my counselors, which is no big deal....only it was over the big yearly switch. New year, new teacher, new class, new teaching binders, new bulletin board, new theme, new.....means work, and worried parents and teachers don't know if so and so should be with them, and what about....... you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteI was fretting one time to the bishop or something and he said Primary will go on with or with out you.
Oh.
Yeah.
You are right. It will move forward. They will figure it out. You will leave them in good hands. Hug and move on, knowing that you have done your best. This says nothing about the missing friends and co-workers part. But just think of what relationships await you.......the unknown.
New people to take a chance on.......
Very true M - It is hard for a control freak like me to just release my grip on it. I think you are a bit the same way...yes? Good advice...message received. HB
ReplyDeleteWhat's awesome within this creepiness is that you will create it all at C21 ! These lovely relationships and the intricacies of knowing your job That's what you do best! And remember your friends are just a phone call or click away. You're not severing the love you've created. After a time all the accounts you're worried about will get wrapped up and tucked in. Then you'll be left with people who will check in on you because you remain incredible!
ReplyDeleteI love you
Also I am suspicious that the time and service we render at home with those who SHOULD be tops on our list will always have a bigger pay off in the end! But I am not a good example of this.
LoveAim