Just as we were all getting ready to sit down to eat, my father offered a prayer over the food. We have joked about and teased my Dad our whole lives about making the dinner prayers more like the family prayers because they are usually quite lengthy, cover a broad spectrum of issues, expressions of gratitude and requests for blessings.
Well, Travis has this habit of not closing his eyes during prayers...this drives me batty. I open my eyes and see him just blatantly looking around at everyone. I have asked him in the past to stop doing that and to PLEASE, at least in public, just respect my request to close his eyes during prayer. When I peaked out today and say him just looking around as usual, I got SO angry. I started thinking about all the blunt things I was going to say to him, I began preparing the lecture I would give him in my head, I could feel my mouth tighten and my arms clench tightly to my body as I began to work myself up to a pretty righteous anger.
All of a sudden the absurdity of the situation struck me for the following reasons:
- Whether or not Travis wants to, does or does not close his eyes during a prayer is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. This is Trav's business...PERIOD.
- Attaching to the belief that it somehow matters whether or not Travis closes his eyes during prayer created some stress in my mind AND my body.
- I realized that I wasn't closing MY eyes when I was noticing Travis wasn't closing his.
- I know lecturing Travis and being RIGHT all the time very rarely creates warmth and closeness in my marriage.
- Worrying about what Travis was doing during the prayer distracted me from actively participating in listening to what my Father was saying - I missed out on his prayer because I decided to step outside my own business to worry about my husband's business.
I Am Grateful,
HB
Diva Quote: "Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense.” --Robert Frost
you always have good insights, even when you get angry- you have a way of first looking at yourself, then choosing your reaction. That is a sweet characteristic trait girl.
ReplyDeleteYes, see, this is your normal reaction.....you tend to want to be a "Fire Brand" as the boys would say, right off the bat, but I think you have a good handle on talking yourself down from the ledge and choosing the higher road. The less insane road. The more peaceful road. The smart road. The what the H*@# road. Because you know what.....life goes on, whether T has his eyes open or not. Choose your battles, usually people say this about teenagers....but hey, if the shoe fits.
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