I know better...WHY oh WHY did I do it? It was just there...for DAYS...and it looked so official. I didn't touch it for weeks, just closed it down, moved on...but it is there EVERY day...maybe there really is a problem...shouldn't we find out what it is? So...I did it...I CLICKED on it. Que computer virus, idiot complex and irritable husband. Sigh.
How is it that we...I mean "I" get worn down so easily? Tonight we got a pizza delivered instead of making the stir fry we planned to make with lots of fresh veggies and left over grilled steak because I decided I didn't want to clean the kitchen and I might as well just start tomorrow since the rest of the day was crap. Now I am sitting here thinking how full I still am, even though we ate hours ago, and I can't help wondering if I have more "moments of weakness" than "moments of strength"?
Don't get me wrong, I am not feeling melancholy, depressed or sad...perhaps a little frustrated, deflated and underwhelmed with myself (if I must pick 3 descriptive words right this moment, which apparently I must). I'm just wondering what the next step is...how do I go backwards & start all over, make different choices years ago or even this morning...wait, not possible...I guess the only choice is to move forward.
In what I think of tonight as a "moment of strength" I dared to quit my job of 15 years and start an adventure at a new company. I am now 2 days into the job and understand how very big a decision this was in both good and unexpected ways.
During my first day on the job I was given a homework assignment by one of the partners. He asked me to read a book called "Strengths Finder 2.0" by Tom Rath and to take a test as per the book's instructions. Once I get the results back, I will email him a copy and set up a meeting next week to discuss how the strengths outlined by this test, strengths specific to me and my personality, should best be utilized to succeed in my new position. I found this request more intriguing than surprising since I got to know these owners pretty well during negotiations.
I feel this is just what I need as a person struggling with a large quantity of moments of weakness that need to be overcome and I am excited to see what my biggest strengths turn out to be...certainly "resistance to constant nagging until you give in" is not one of them. I know the trick to beating the "moments of weakness" is in recognizing and building on the "moments of strength" - I am looking forward to the experience.
I Am Grateful,
HB
Diva Quote: "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” - Albert Camus
Hmmmm.....very cool work assignment. Interesting. Are you done yet? Looking forward to hearing what you thought of the book. I have a book sitting here, Go for No! That I have been meaning to send your way for a few weeks. It is excellent. I really liked it....the beginning is a little dumb...but just move forward and it is great. I will get it out to you, TODAY! I keep thinking I may need to go back and reference it.....but the concept is quite simple.
ReplyDeleteSorry you clicked on "it".....definitely a place we have all been. MAC is much better to deal with as far as all that is concerned. But LAME!! What a bother.
The eating thing, the weaknesses. The going back, wondering....I know, I hear you loud and clear. I know you are just venting and are not looking for answers. But I so get what you are saying, and am right there with you with my own frustrations. Get a hold of yourself!!!! Come on, what is with the sliding backwards?? These words are my words for me. The worst part is we never feel good with the choice to eat late, over eat, or choosing to eat plain old crap. It is not rewarding on any level, ....but in the end, that is why I love a new day. A fresh slate. One day at a time, today I focus on just THIS day. I celebrate my successes ON THIS DAY. Don't worry about the far away future, or even tomorrow, and how how hard it will be to keep up. Only today counts right now.
Go forth and make great choices.....FOR TODAY!! Heck...for the next hour.....
Yes, I read the part of the book I was to read before taking the test, then took the test and will report on it tomorrow...I waited too long tonight and I meet with my boss tomorrow to talk about it as well. I know, I KNOW, I KNOW!!!!! For some reason I just can't DO what I KNOW!! Or Won't or refuse to or something. I am hoping you sent the book - I will be watching for it. Love ya. HB
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